so fresh and so clean...

I just got done taking a shower. I usually don't take showers at night, but I felt really disgusting and decided to take one so that I could just relax.

I feel like I just literally washed all of the stress away from my life with this shower, which may sound really weird, but that is how I feel. Sometimes I wish that erasing your life and starting new would be as easy as hopping into the shower, but it is.

In so many ways I am not happy with my life anymore. I don't get good grades anymore, my parents don't trust me, I am broke, I have no social life, I put no effort into how I look, and I really do nothing. I tend to alienate myself from other people, which makes me even less happy. I don't feel like I have anything going for myself, and I abandoned who I was.

I think this is because I don't know who I am. I have no direction, and I am afraid that I am completely utterly lost.

There I things that I want to do, and a person that I really want to be, but I cannot seem to motivate myself to take the steps necessary to do what I want to do and be what I want to be. Part of it is complete laziness (which I am ashamed of), as well as a total lack of confidence that I once used to have. I am also scared too, which doesn't help matters.

I think I need to wake up tomorrow having taken a "life shower." I need to set my priorities and make small obtainable goals for myself to become a better me, and get out of this personal hell that I have created for myself. I am afraid that if I don't try to get out soon that, I will never get out.

Tomorrow I'll take a shower and be so fresh, so clean.

touchmytush tuesday.

Hello world (or shall I say my very few blog readers)!

Have you ever had a day in which nothing at all felt right? Like your hair doesn't lay right, and your tangled up in your bra, and you feel like you have something stuck in your shoe. Isn't anything too out of the ordinary, but it just feels weird. That is the kind of day I am having today. Yeah, I know, it is really exciting on your part. Just kidding. I know it is very irrelevant to you, but I just felt like putting it out there.

Anyway, I read in the newspaper that Sen. Barack Obama is going to be visiting good ole' YoCo on Thursday evening. He is going to have a rally at Penn State York. I am kind of really excited.

I am pretty much torn on Obama and Hillary. I mean, I like Obama and his stance on a lot of issues, but Hillary has a similar stance on a lot of issues, plus I am like "Woot! Woman Power!" I dunno. I mean I used to despise Hillary... I thought she seemed too arrogant, and for a lack of a better word, "bitchy," but I think at this point she has more substance behind what she says, and she tells the truth rather than words that people like to hear *(coughObamacough).

I am going to take the rest of this post to lay out the differences between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. Here it goes (from CNN.com):

Abortion

Obama - Opposes any constitutional amendment to overturn the Supreme Court's decision in Roe v Wade. Disagreed with Supreme Court ruling to uphold the "Partial Birth Abortion Ban Act." Did not cast a vote on Prohibiting Funds for Groups that Perform Abortions amendment in 2007.
Clinton - Will sign into law the Freedom of Choice Act, which would codify Roe v. Wade into federal law. Would overturn the "global gag rule," which prohibits Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs) from talking about abortion in the event of an unplanned pregnancy. Voted against the Prohibit Partial Birth Abortion bill in 2003. Did not cast a vote on Prohibiting Funds for Groups that Perform Abortions amendment in 2007. Disagreed with Supreme Court ruling to uphold the "Partial Birth Abortion Ban Act."

Education

Obama - Would reform No Child Left Behind, ensuring access to high-quality early childhood education programs and child care opportunities, recruit well-qualified and reward expert, accomplished teachers. Make science and math education a national priority. Reduce the high school dropout rate and empower parents to raise healthy and successful children by taking a greater role in their child's education at home and at school.
Clinton - Would end No Child Left Behind. Promote early childhood education, including nurse home visitation programs for new parents, quality child care and Head Start and pre-kindergarten for all 4-year-olds. Improve K-12 system by meeting funding promises of IDEA. Recruit outstanding teachers and principals, especially in urban and rural areas. Cut minority dropout rate in half. Expand early-intervention mentoring programs. Identify at-risk youth early and provide $1 billion in intensive interventions. Create a new $3,500 college tax credit and increase the maximum Pell Grant.

Environment

Obama - Would implement an economy-wide cap-and-trade program to reduce greenhouse gas emissions to the level recommended by top scientists. Would make the United States a leader in the global effort to combat climate change by leading anew international global warming partnership. Would establish a National Low Carbon Fuel Standard (LCFS) to speed the introduction of low-carbon non-petroleum fuels. Would create a Technology Transfer program within the Department of Energy dedicated to exporting climate-friendly technologies to developing countries. Would offer incentives to maintain forests globally and manage them sustainably. Would develop domestic incentives that reward forest owners, farmers and ranchers when they plant trees, restore grasslands or undertake farming practices that capture carbon dioxide from the atmosphere.
Clinton - Would develop a new treaty to replace the Kyoto Protocol, which is set to expire in 2012. Would focus on international attention to solve the problem of global deforestation. Would focus the mission of the Department of Energy on moving toward energy independence with a new approach to solar, wind, biofuels, hydropower, geothermal and other sources of renewable energy. Would place a market-based cap and trade system to reduce carbon pollution. …In combination with efficiency, fuel economy standards and other proposals, she states the system will ensure the goal of reducing U.S. contribution to global warming below 1990 levels by 80 percent. Would oppose drilling in the Arctic National Wildfire Refuge.

Immigration

Obama - Supported Bush-backed immigration reform legislation, which would have increased funding and improved border security technology, improved enforcement of existing laws, and provided a legal path to citizenship for some illegal immigrants. Voted to authorize construction of a 700-mile fence along the U.S.-Mexican border.
Clinton - Supported Bush-backed immigration reform legislation, which would have increased funding and improved border security technology, improved enforcement of existing laws, and provided a legal path to citizenship for some illegal immigrants. Voted to authorize construction of a 700-mile fence along the U.S.-Mexican border.

Iraq

Obama - Opposed use of military force in Iraq. Voted for war spending bill that would have withdrawn most U.S. troops by March 2008. Supports phased redeployment of U.S. troops. Opposed Bush's plan to send additional troops to Iraq. Had once called for troop withdrawal to begin by the end of 2006.
Clinton - Voted for use of military force in Iraq, but now says she would have voted differently "if we knew then what we know now." Supports de-authorizing the war. Voted for war spending bill that would have withdrawn most U.S. troops by March 2008. Opposed Bush plan to increase the number of American troops in Iraq. Supports a phased redeployment.

Same-sex Marriage

Obama - Opposes same-sex marriage, but also opposes a constitutional ban. Supports civil unions.
Clinton - Opposes same-sex marriage but supports civil unions. Says states should ultimately decide the issue. Opposes a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage.

Those are basically the main issues of each of their campaigns. As a sit and ponder these results I ask, what is your opinion? How do you feel about both Obama and Hillary.

Until tomorrow,

-jill

Ah la, ooh la la...

Wow. It is March. It isn't even the beginning of March, it is mid-March. I kind of feel bad that I started this blog and that I haven't been updating like I should be.

One post for February is pretty pathetic, and only this one for March is sad too. I don't even have an excuse for not writing. I mean, it isn't like I currently have a life. I have been doing nothing after school.

Anyway, as I was saying, life has been really boring since the musical has been over. I have really nothing to do.

Because of being bored and my need for cash because I am really broke I applied and had an interview for a job last week at Memorial Hospital in the Dietary department. The lady basically told me that I had the job, and now I am waiting to hear back from Human Resources with all of the good info (wage, etc). The good thing about this job is that I will be working 3:30-6:30 at night, and it will be super easy (I mean how hard is it to put Jello on trays?)

Besides the whole job thing, nothing really interesting has happened. School is boring as always. I only have three more months to go and I will be free, and then all I will be able to think about is Temple. Go Owls!

So, yesterday and today in our local newspaper there was this article about this woman in Kentucky that had a phobia of leaving bathrooms and stayed on the toilet seat for 2 years. And after taking care of her on the toilet seat for that long, her boyfriend finally called the cops about it. She sat on the seat so long that her skin grew over the seat and they had to surgically remove the seat. My thing is, how long can you actually sit on a toilet. I mean, she probably hasn't been able to feel her butt for a long, long time. It goes to show you how crazy some people are.

So, I am leaving you with a video from my favorite artist ever with a song that is currently my favorite:



<3jill